


the woman who can't be moved

by musclepigjeon



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst with happy ending bc self-love!!, F/F, Momo centric, Moving On, Post-Break Up, Realizations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-05-20 04:21:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19369651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musclepigjeon/pseuds/musclepigjeon
Summary: Momo is stillinlove with Sana. She tries to reach out for her but what she doesn't know, all she has to do is reach out to herown self.





	the woman who can't be moved

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry for my grammatical errors SOBS thank you, enjoy!!!!

Momo felt like everything in shambles. She got up from her bed, gritted her teeth and shook her head as if trying to eliminate all the negative thoughts getting the best of her. Her hands trembled, and she felt the familiar pang in her chest, eyes moistening with soft tear threatening to spill at any moment.

 

“ _Fuck._ ” She hissed, slumping down on the comfort of her bed again and checked her phone of any alerts that could possibly calm her.

 

Yet, _none._

 

She could still remember how much it hurt up until now when she and Sana broke up. It was almost 2 months after their break up, literally speaking. She asked for a space since she wanted to get better. Her mental state was crumbled in ruins and her environment wasn’t much a help that’s why she got a place for herself for a cheap price. She could remember somewhat blurry that she mentioned to Sana they could be together again after some years or so? She bombarded her ex-girlfriend’s social media accounts with messages, needy and desperate. Yes, it was very pathetic of her to contact an _ex_ when she was the sole reason why they got apart but who could blame her when she was still in love with her? After all, she was she one at fault. Sana didn’t do anything wrong. Even a tad bit.

 

“You’re still trying to talk to her?” Her best friend Nayeon asked, voice ringing from her phone’s speakers.

 

Momo ran her fingers through her hair, biting on her lowerlip. “Yeah,”

 

She swore she heard her best friend’s heavy sigh, probably in disappointment? She didn’t know. However, she was sure that her ears caught Jeongyeon’s voice scolding her girlfriend, Nayeon, to keep it quiet since she was working with her latest novel. “Sorry, Jeongyeon told me to leave our room.” The female breathed again after a long pause, Momo adjusted her phone on her ear. “Momo, you left messages for her daily for 10 days already.” She could taste the bitter emotions occupying her heart on her tongue. Nayeon was right. “She doesn’t care! Even her friends, they don’t want to help you. Didn’t I tell you? Please, prioritize your health.”

 

Momo shut her eyes closed momentarily, pressing the back of her head on the pillow even further and clenched her fists. She knew that, even though Nayeon wouldn’t have had said those words, she was already aware of that devastating _assumption._ Sana _maybe_ didn’t care about her well-being anymore. And even how much she tried to ask for help to her friends, they wouldn’t dare to notice her. She was being stupid. She knew deep down she was being ignored yet there were still hopes in her guts unless she hear the truth from Sana, she wouldn’t believe her insecurities too much. “I know but could you please not talk that way about _her_? She maybe still cares. You know Sana is not that kind of person.” She uttered weakly.

 

“Alright, I am sorry, peach. It’s just that, you’re so fucked up,” She exhaled sharply. “She’s not the only woman who will love you, Momo-ah. Go out, meet new people and move on.” Nayeon reassured soothingly.

 

She wanted to protest at that advice. No one would love someone like her like how Sana did. Her soulmate, her love and her woman. She and Sana were compatible to each other. They both loved anime, manga, cats, foods, and even their mannerisms and perception were all alike. Heck, they even promised to each other that they were each other’s first and last. That, they would spend the rest of their lives together hence, growing old together. Memories of them together started playing in her vision, recalling how much Sana sacrificed literally everything for them but there she was, ruining it all.

 

Feeling the tears pricked in her eyes, Momo ended the call without answering Nayeon’s incoming calls and fell asleep as she broke down in tears.

* * *

 If Momo calculated well, it was been day 13 since messaging Sana. She had her routine of texting the latter one message per day daily.

 

_to: sana_

_day 13, i miss you. can we talk?_

_√sent._

 

Frankly, she would be less anxious if her messages weren’t sent but delivered. Figuring out the case, she was indeed at Sana’s ignored messages. But Momo couldn’t stop, she needed closure if she wanted to move on. Her friends assured her that she would be getting it one day but she felt like all those statements were empty. Getting closure even it would mean rejection would make her happier nevertheless, getting back together with Sana would make her the happiest.

 

“Want me to hook you up?” Jeongyeon suggested, she was currently hanging out at the couple’s house since the pair insisted that Momo shouldn’t locked herself up to her apartment because it would only make the situation worsen. “Either way, there is lots of dating social applications. Why don’t you try?”

 

Momo scrunched her nose in disgust at the offer, lifting a biscuit up to her mouth. “No, I haven’t moved on yet, dumbass. Do you want me to toy with someone else’s feelings?” She muttered, biting on the biscuit and then crunched on it noisily earning a scowl from Jeongyeon.

 

“Then look for someone who’s at the same shoes like you then use each other to move on. You don’t have to make it serious,” The brunette advised, uncapping her pen.

 

Momo shrugged off and answered her question with another question. “What if I never moved on?”

 

At that very moment, Nayeon popped out from the kitchen, carrying and rocking a small bean in her arms with a proud smile. “Then, just be a nice auntie to _Sanchi_?”

 

Her eyes widened and soon enough, a grin plastered on her face. “You adopted a _cat_ , Nayeon!”

* * *

_to: sana._

_day 15, how have you been, sana?_

_you’ve been always patient to me._

_it’s my time to be patient, too._

_√sent._

 

“Momo?” Dahyun, her classmate from chemistry called out. Momo immediately whipped out her head to look for her and when their eyes met, her eyes crinkled with a tired smile.

 

“Hey, what is it?” She pursed her lips, approaching the female to her desk.

 

Dahyun scratched her neck, uncertainty were painted on her face. “Well, um, I know you’re single.” The sentence made her frown, stuffing her phone at the back pocket of her jeans. “And I have the girl from another department. She’s my friend and she wanted to ask you if you guys can go out for a couple of drinks?” The way the green-haired female created frantic hand gestures while talking gave Momo an idea she was being _nervous._

 

“Did she threaten you?” She joked causing for Dahyun to laugh, nodding her head in agreement.

 

“She really likes you,” The green-haired female chuckled cutely, tucking few of her hair strands behind her ear. “Have a huge crush on you.”

 

“I’m sorry but I can’t go out with her even it’s just for a couple of drinks.” She admitted, giving the latter a small apologetic smile.

 

“So, it is true?”

 

Momo stared at her, eyes pooling with sadness and hopelessness, “True, what?”

 

She had the hunch that it was the gossip of her not being able to move on from her _ex_ since she was pretty much ignoring anyone who would try to show interest in her. Because, that would be totally bullshit if she started to flirt back to someone who had feelings in her when she was still in love with Sana.

 

“That you _can’t_ be moved.”

 

Her heart somersaulted, pursing her lips before presenting Dahyun a one last smile.

 

Momo spent her remaining break hours crying at the rooftop.

* * *

_2 months and 23 days._

 

Momo repeated to herself while gazing at the window, spotting the heavy rain pouring down and how her ears caught the deafening noise of the rain. Sana loved _rain._ She remembered claiming she disliked rain because it gave her sudden sadness. The younger female scooped her in her arms with a warm smile, trying to win her heart to love rain as well.

 

It was too late to realize that she in fact, loved rain ever since then. The regrets and guilt started to invade her mind and heart and she knew it was getting harder to breath. Sana was always patient and gentle, even at times Momo was being handful, and she wouldn’t get mad. They had tons and tons of similarities but at some point, they had differences. She shouldn’t have taken Sana’s kindness and love to her for granted. She should’ve been more grateful, thankful and appreciative towards her. Should have showered and pampered her with love and affection that she deserved more than anything else, and should have been more understanding to her. Sure, no cheating issues were involved but she knew, Sana was tremendously hurt by her foolish actions.

 

Momo shouldn’t have never let go even how much hard the days were to her. Aware of how life would be without Sana, she knew that letting go again would be so damned impossible anymore if a miracle came and make the younger give her a second chance to make things right.

 

Sana’s voice, Sana’s touch, Sana’s promises, Sana’s plans, Sana’s face, Sana’s love, Sana’s everything.

 

_Sana, Sana, Sana, Sana._

 

Her thoughts halted when her phone rang, receiving a message from someone to whom she didn’t know would hold her hand or completely let go of it.

* * *

 It certainly better to be late than never.

 

However, it would be certainly best if she _didn’t_ let go at the first place.

 

It was been a week already since Sana sent her responses and everything became much clearer to her. A crystal clear, indeed. Her friends gave her advices and encouragement. That, she should take her time to heal and they would always be there for her, and they fucking loved her a lot. Her chest didn’t hurt that much as her supportive friends tried to cheer her up. She recalled bawling her eyes out while showering when she read Sana’s messages.

 

She licked her lips, shaking the plastic cup of frappe she bought and her ass was comfortably sitting alone at the coffee shop where her friend worked. Momo carefully took a sip from her metallic straw, sighing as her taste buds caught the sweetness of the beverage.

 

She wanted to clean the mess. Apparently, two months ago, Sana stalked her accounts when they broke up. She had been extra sweet to her friends that time because they wanted to make her feel better after the break up. They had been outrageous and over expressive towards their sappiness to Momo that perhaps, Sana thought she was dating one of them. She would like to type, _I didn’t date anyone after we broke up._

 

Also saw a tweet about her favourite hoodie not being able to return to her, Nayeon replying that she should just try to get it back, her replying back that it was a messy break up, and Nayeon calling that someone an asshole and her agreeing on it. _I wasn’t referring to you, please. I got lots of other hoodies with me and one of them happened to be given to someone else and then, you._ She would like to send, however, the pain overpowered her that she just typed, _Okay! Thank you for clearing things up. Thank you for everything._ Why?

 

Sana was _dating_ someone else already.

 

Her grip on the cup tightened, her shoulders sagged. At first, she got mad at her. Thoughts running in her mind like, “I thought I’m your first and last?”, “You promised it’s always gonna be me”, “You told me I am your home”, “Isn’t that easy for you to replace me?”, “Do you like that person since we were dating and since we broke up, you two agreed on getting together because I am not in the picture anymore?”, “I thought you wouldn’t stop loving me. You promised a lot of things. We planned tons. How could you say and promise the exact words you’ve told me to her after two months of breaking up?”

 

_Did you even love me?_

It was too fucking late. Although she fixed the habit of being impatient, not being understanding and forgiving enough, posting too much shit on your social medias about you and your partner and involving others when you’re not in your mood. It was too late. She was too late.

 

As long as her angel was happy, she would try her best to be happy for the _both_ of _them_ too.

“So!” Jihyo surprised her, doe-eyes looking up at her excitedly as she brought in the dessert that Momo ordered. “It’s such a rare occurrence for you to hang out with me. You’re literally a couch potato. You don’t like going out.” She took a seat across her, propping her elbows on the wooden table then rested her chin on her palm.

 

Momo chortled, looking at the blueberry cake then to the female. “I’m trying my best to be a better version of myself which means, I gotta change the toxic trait of mine who always stood up to my friends’ dates.”

 

“You rejected me and your other friends a lot back then,” The doe-eyed female giggled, playfully grimacing at her. She was adorable, as always she was.

 

The black-haired female nodded with a teasing grin, grabbing a fork and sliced up the cake into two parts. She ushered Jihyo to share the cake with her, earning a squeal from her friend because she was being treated for the _first_ time ever. “Remember the guy I mentioned you about three years ago?”

 

She had fun hanging out with her friend. They really had a long ass conversation about things in the past, laughed at how their friendship got ruined when Jihyo dated a guy during their ninth grade resulting for her to ditch Momo during breaks and after school hang outs, how Jihyo been doing and really, Momo let her talk and she listened intently. She couldn’t believe how much she missed out in her friend’s life for three years not being able to keep in touch. She shared some stuff about her though, and the next thing they knew, their time was up.

 

She bid good-bye to her and left the shop since Jihyo needed to be back on her shift. As she walked home, her smile never left her place. It felt nice to spend some quality time with your friends, right? She contemplated. Momo almost jumped in amusement when her phone rang, signalling that one of her friends saw her post about her and Jihyo’s friendly date. It was Mina, her childhood best pal. She asked her out for a date some other time as well. Her smile widened, showing her pearly white teeth in enthusiasm, her fingers moved and sent, _Sure! When?_

Momo hurriedly took off her shoes and changed into her comfortable clothes. She laid down on her bed and sort millions of things in her mind. She still had friends regardless of the loss of one special person in her life. Most importantly, she still had herself. She couldn’t hate Sana even she tried to. The blonde did her best when they were dating, ultimate efforts included. It wasn’t her job to complete her. It was her own job to complete her own self and be happy on her own. Sana was one of the things that made her the happiest woman in the world and she couldn’t thanked her enough for doing that so. Momo knew she became toxic in their relationship and she was still learning lots of good things in life. And she was willing to be better, and better, and be better. For herself, for her family, for her friends and for the next person she would love.

 

She did lose someone she loved so much. She would move on, and it might take years because she loved Sana with all of her heart. Momo could choose to be stuck or to move on, after all. Nonetheless, Sana would always hold a special place in her heart no matter how many years would pass by.

 

So, she inhaled and exhaled a heavy sigh, closed her eyes and put a hand over her chest. She smiled, and told herself she would forgive herself and then start a brand new day tomorrow.

_After all, life goes on._

 


End file.
